So first of all, it's important to know that I have reconciled myself to the fact that I will never see Max alive again.
My dream went like this;
I started off at USC. It was just another normal day, waking up, going to class, etc etc. All of a sudden I got a call from... who was it? I have no idea, but in my dream it was someone I knew. I just don't remember who.
Anyway, the call went as follows;
me: "Hello?"
"Hi! Are you busy right now?"
"No not really, I just got out of class. Why?"
"Well, you sort of need to go back to Switzerland right now."
"What?! Why?!"
"That's not important, you just really have to go."
"... Okay." (remember, this is me talking to someone I know and trust, not just some random stranger) "...What do I do?"
"Pack your things, catch a cab, and be at LAX at terminal 2 in 4 hours."
"But I don't have a flight ticket or anything."
"You do actually, it's been purchased for you. [Insert name of other person I know] is gonna be waiting at the airport for you, so you get it there."
"Ahhhh okay okay I'm on my way, then."
"Alright, cya."
*hang up
So I raced back to my dorm (I had my longboard with me), got out a bag, and just started throwing stuff in there like clothes, books, etc. When I was done, I called a Yellow Cab. For some reason it got there right away, so I ran downstairs, got in, and sat there twiddling my thumbs all the way to LAX. I arrived at the airport at 18h on the dot, which I remember because in my dream it was 14h when I got the call. A friend (I wish I remembered who it was!) met the cab and helped me unload my things, then jogged with me to the gate. Blah blah blah, eventually we boarded the plane. The flight was uneventful, and then I arrived at the airport in Geneva, Switzerland.
I have no idea why, but somehow, the family who adopted Max was there to pick me up. And for some reason, I thought that was completely normal. So we greeted each other casually, they helped me load my stuff into their car, and off we went to their house.
Somehow this whole time I wasn't even cognizant of the fact that in a few short minutes I was going to see my Max again.
Upon arrival at their home, I got my bag out of the trunk, then strode through the gate on my way to the door. A couple meters in though, I stopped short because.
Ah.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Max was sleeping on the walk up to the front door, on his side with his legs and neck stretched out, in that position he loved to sleep in when the sun is shining and it's all warm. I remember it so vividly, and in my dream I could see every detail of his beautiful self. So, thunderstruck, I stopped short and held my breath; when I exhaled, without realizing it, I said, "Max..." as a half-sigh, half-word.
When I made that sound, Max lept up and ran towards me in a friendly manner, but.
Ahhhhhhh.
It wasn't the manner that he approaches someone when he knows them. It was the friendly manner that he approaches everyone in, including strangers. It meant that I'd become a stranger to him.
Well of course I wasn't going to just stand there when my lovely beautiful gorgeous sweet Max was saying hello, even if he didn't recognize or remember me. I dropped to my knees and cried into his face while stroking him like the weak-hearted undignified fool that I am.
Oh Max.
And so in my dream, the next few weeks were spent living with this family who had adopted Max. I got to know them and their kids pretty well, which was nice, they were all good people. And I spent so much time with Max. Ah! Max! Sadly, the whole time, he treated me with the distant friendliness he treats everyone with. He didn't recognize me, ah. AH! I was so awfully sad about that, but at the same time, I was just so happy to be around him again that I really didn't mind.
Then the time came for me to leave. As in, go back to Los Angeles to resume my studies. And probably never see Max again.
So the whole last day, I sat on their front lawn with Max beside me. It was really. Sad.
*sigh
The last moment came. I was going to get in the car and drive off in half an hour.
Blinded by tears, I crouched in front of Max and held his face, like I used to love doing. He seemed to understand the seriousness of the situation, and solemnly stared into my eyes, which always made me laugh a bit. Chuckling as I cried, I stroked his forehead in a way that I love, then scratched a place on his neck that he loved getting itched. In a specific manner that he also adores. And suddenly, right then, he remembered me! As in, he remembered me from the house in France. His reaction to the sudden realization was so blatant, it was amazing. With a half yowl-half cry, he jumped up and started kissing my face with such exorbitant energy... And at one point he couldn't restrain himself, and so started doing helicopters and whimpering with excitement. Max! I bawled hysterically and held on to him, haha.
There was a gentle tap on my shoulder. Glancing up, I saw the man of the house looking down at me with a sympathetic expression on his face.
"We have to go in five minutes, I'm sorry." he said.
Ah, Max, Max, Max. Just when you remember me, the time has come for me to leave. What to do, my sweet little baby, what to do?!
But of course, there was nothing I could do. It was time for goodbye. That awful, awful word.
I whispered into his ear,
"Max, Max baby, I don't think I'll ever see you again. Please forgive me, I love you, but please please forget me so you can live the rest of your life happily. I love you so much Max, I know you know it. If I ever see you again though, I'll scratch that place on your neck, and I hope you'll remember me that way. If not, live well my darling, all of my thoughts are with you, all of them. I love you Max. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..." And I collapsed into undignified sobs.
Those were my exact words though, I remember the scene in crystalline detail.
I woke up sobbing hysterically, my pillow drenched in tears. Ah I am a wuss. Yes.
I love Max.
I miss Max.
I'll never see Max again.
Ah.
darling... I'm sorry.